I just realized

This is the first time I’ve been in a romantic relationship and the stakes have been good

All my other relationships felt like life and death

I was dating Alex when that one Korea trip happened and I lost my memory

Alasund probably never loved me he was just afraid he’d crash and wake up and I’d be dead one way or another

Obko was also worried about losing his power over me through death

Brendan is literally the first time I’ve gone for longer than a couple months without my partner having serious legitimate concerns about my life

He’s the first where I can actually think about my future and have him play a large role

I mean even if things don’t work out between us as far as I’m concerned all my family and friends live in Austin so I may as well move to Texas

I like being in a relationship with the certainty that I’ll live long enough to see him again

It keeps the oxytocin high strong